this year it seems the weather has changed rather quickly, and while i’ve enjoyed creating early fall outfits (namely pairing skinny cords with boat shoes), i’m so confused: 1) fall crept the fuck up on me; 2) maybe point 1 is false and i just haven’t processed that ‘summer is over’ because i haven’t broken my summer routine of selling-used-womens-clothing-and-living-with-my-parents; 3) this weather makes me think i should be at drew.
so, although i’m still in summer mode (a lifestyle i accept with ambivalence), the weather is telling me that i should be in new jersey, i guess drew has become what i associate with this weather.
i’ve become far more appreciative of what i had at drew lately. i really miss having a group of friends. have i already reached the point of life in which i have friends scattered here and there, and no posse to run rampant with? it has its benefits – for instance, i can complain about almost anyone to almost anyone, because no one knows anyone. this lifestyle suits me well most of the time, because i like to go out to dinner in small groups (and honestly that is the majority of socializing i get these days) but it certainly harms me when a party pops up in my life. i drag jane with me every now and then, but i refuse to go to any party unless i know i have a buddy-system-partner lined up. this may or may not sound really neurotic (depending how well you know me) but just think about it. who wants to go to a party of a group of friends with whom you are only acquaintances? if you’re anything like me, that sounds like a great opportunity for crossed arms and miller light sipping in a corner – or worse – before you know it, you will have smoked an entire pack of cigarettes just because it’s something to do. i had forgotten what bad party anxiety i get until recently, and then i was dying to be back at school, where i would exit most parties early claiming i was bored and going to bed (but probably going to watch sex and the city), but at least i was comfortable. and smoking far fewer ciggies.
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? by The Shirelles
