in light of recent events (obviously including seeing the sex and the city movie which perhaps is prompting this carrie bradshaw-esque quest for answers about friendship/romance/what lies between via a computer) i find myself thinking about the boundaries between friends. particularly, when a conflict arrises and brings about major trust issues, can the individuals go about the situation as would be done in a romantic relationship? do friends make any more or less of a commitment to honesty and trust than people in a romantic relationship? in a past romantic relationship, my partner and i would discuss the various options when we had issues of trust. some of the most obvious being: 1) stay together, 2) take a break with the knowledge we intended to get back together, 3) break up. however, i find looking back to that experience hardly helpful.
1. forgive a friend who has never wronged you before.
-hard because of the level of trust that has amassed over the length of the loyal friendship.
-easy because of the faith and loyalty that still remains.
2. forgive someone who you can hardly call a friend because of how much they’ve wronged you.
-hard because of issues of self-righteousness, exhaustion, and spite.
-easy because of numbness, exhaustion, lack of personal values.
like with a romantic relationship, it’s clearly a case by case issue. can you have a friendship break, indefinitely, in hopes of saving the friendship in the long term? how do you rebuild friend trust?
can a true friendship only exist between people with similar ethics? do friends maximize happiness and minimize pain? i hate cyrenaic hedonism.
thank you robert zimmerman:
And here I sit so patiently
Waiting to find out what price
You have to pay to get out of
Going through all these things twice.
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